Dusted
by hlin
Summary: Just collection of some old things that I put at the forum. So, if anyone is interested... Book 4 is up! Please read and review!
1. Book I Collection of short moments

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Dusted**

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Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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Author's Note:** As the title suggested, this is a collection of old works - most of which are stuff that I posted at the forum long time ago. Some of them, I think, are decent enough, so I decided to post here at ffn, too. Of course, most of them will not connect to one another and the format... (laugh) ...yes, I know. The format is abysmal at best but... that's how the fics thing started really. We'll see... And if these that I post here are not too good (shrug) I can get rid of them any time anyway, so... See how you like the first one.

For the other things that I have posted before...I have final exam tomorrow. The last one. So, after it I hope I can do some more updating. Many, many thanks to all the reviews, by the way. I really didn't expect to get so many reviews... (very happy) THANKS, guys!

Just to make sure, don't flame me please, if you don't like what you read.

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Book 1...**

**Collection of short moments of 'What if Cagalli had gone MIA and lost all her memories after ward?'**

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Athrun met Cagalli for the first time. He still thought that she had...died. Many things had happened since and now he and Kira were (somewhat) on speaking term again._

Cagalli walks into the room, looking all fine and very much alive.  
Kira: (turns when she comes in. He is casual and is smiling at her fondly) Ah, Cagalli.  
Athrun: (shocked, speechless and staring at Cagalli)...  
Cagalli: (walks to Kira and smiles at him) Kira. (notices the staring Athrun) He's your friend, Kira?  
Athrun: (double shocked)...  
Kira: (realizes that Athrun doesn't know yet about Cagalli's fake-death and her loss of memory) Ah, yes, he's my friend. This is Athrun Zala. Athrun, this is Cagalli, my sister.  
Cagalli: Nice to meet you. (turns to Kira) By the way, I found this on the table (gives him HER ring). Lacus forgot it maybe, when she went to see me the other day. You proposed, Kira?  
Athrun: (triple shocked)...  
Kira: (blushes) No! That---! This is---!  
(someone - a new guy - comes into the room and calls to Cagalli in a way that suggests a close, easy friendship)  
Cagalli: You wanna come join us at the cafeteria?  
Kira: Ah...(looks at Athrun)  
Athrun: (he has fainted but still in the standing position)  
Kira: ...probably next time.

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Athrun Zala's attempts to help Cagalli regain her memories..._

**1st attempt:**

Athrun: Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (looks up) You're...Kira's friend I saw the other day, aren't you? Ath...run, right?  
Athrun: (nods) Umm...I heard from Kira that you got into an accident and lost your memory for a while.  
Cagalli: Yes, I did.  
Athrun: (gulps) You don't...remember me?  
Cagalli: (looks at him) I'm supposed to?  
Athrun: ("Ouch...")...  
Cagalli: You were my friend, too? Like Kira's?  
Athrun: (double ouch)...We were...friends once.  
Cagalli: So, you were with the Archangel in the last war, too, right?  
Athrun: (triple ouch)...I wasn't until...(lamely)later...  
Cagalli: Oh... (thinks...then look at him expectantly) How did we meet, Athrun?  
Athrun: ...ah...

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2nd attempt:**

Cagalli talking with Kira and Lacus.  
Athrun: (comes in) Excuse me, Kira, Lacus. (turns to Cagalli) Do you have a moment? I would like to talk with you about something.  
Cagalli: (confused glance at Kira and Lacus, then nods) Sure.  
Athrun and Cagalli go outside.  
Cagalli: So?  
Athrun: Last time you asked me about how we met...  
Cagalli: (listens attentively)  
Athrun: And you asked me if we were friends... (takes a deep breath) Well, the truth is that I...  
New Guy: There you are! I looked all over for you, Cagalli!  
Cagalli and Athrun turn to look at New Guy who is walking toward them.  
New Guy: (a brief polite smile at Athrun then says to Cagalli) It's time to go back and a new representative of the Seyran family asks permission to see you.  
Cagalli: I see. Where's Kisaka?  
New Guy: He's busy, and will be so till the rest of next week. He asked me to be your bodyguard for a while.  
Cagalli: He did? That's good. At least I know you will cut me some slack...  
New Guy: (grins) On the contrary, Representative Princess Cagalli Yula Athha, I am determined to be very strict with you, considering all the stunts you have been pulling since I have come to know you. (suddenly becomes serious) With the situation right now, I hope you won't do that often. It' s too dangerous.  
Cagalli: (laughs) You're becoming more and more like Kisaka. You worry too much...  
New Guy: I take my job seriously. I, after all, did swear to protect you with my life.  
Cagalli: (smiles) Thank you... (notices the frozen Athrun next to her) ...Ah, sorry Athrun. You two haven't met each other yet, have you?  
Both shook their heads.  
Cagalli: Athrun, this is Alex. Alex, this is Athrun Zala, Kira's friend.  
Alex: (smiles) Alex Dino. It's an honor to be able to meet the legendary ace of ZAFT in person.  
Athrun: (face very pale) ...Yes...nice to meet you...Alex.

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3rd attempt:**

_Orb_  
Cagalli comes out of a room, talking with Murrue.  
Athrun: Cagalli---  
Alex: Representative Athha! (runs to Cagalli and grabs her arm) Representatives from PLANTs have arrived, the meeting is about to start!  
Cagalli: (surprised) They were supposed to be here at 5! Oh crap! (starts running)  
Alex: Cagalli, wait! Your report! (runs after her)  
Athrun: ...("That was my job...")

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4th attempt:**

_PLANT_  
Cagalli gets out of the conference room, looking tired.  
Athrun gets out of a room across the conference room, also looking tired.  
Cagalli: (surprised) Athrun? What are you doing here in PLANT?  
Athrun: (surprised) Cagalli? You are the representative for this conference?  
Cagalli: (tiredly) Yes. I thought it was going to be bad but...I didn't think it could be this bad... What a mess. Not to mention about the new group of terrorists...  
Athrun: (walks to her) Cagalli...  
Alex: (comes out of the conference room) Representative, I have got everything. Would you like to go back now?  
Cagalli: (turns) Ah...thanks, Alex. What's on the schedule?  
Alex: I took the liberty to change your schedule a little. You need rest, Cagalli. (notices Athrun) Oh, excuse me, Commander Zala.  
Athrun: (trying very hard to keep his expression neutral) It's been a while...Alex.  
Cagalli: (looks at Athrun) Commander?  
Athrun: Ah... I just remember that there's something I have to do. Please excuse me, Representative Athha. (walks away)

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5th Attempt:**

Cagalli and Kira are trying Andrew's new blend of coffee.  
Andrew: Oh hey, Athrun! You here for a visit? Come try the new blend!  
Kira: I thought you were coming next week, Athrun?  
Athrun: (sits down) Change of plan. (takes the coffee) How have you been, Kira, Mr. Waltfeld... Cagalli?  
Cagalli: (drinks her coffee) Busy as usual. I'm just glad that Kisaka let Alex be my bodyguard permanently now. He's been helping me a lot.  
Athrun: (arrow#1 hits Athrun's back) ...That's good.  
Cagalli: (oblivious of Kira and Waltfeld's expressions) I learned a couple of tricks from him, too. Using the gun and knife, I mean. It was quite impressive how he handled the fight that broke out the other day.  
Athrun: (arrow#2 joins the first) ...What happened?  
Cagalli: (waves her hand) The usual - you know...(laughs) those who want me out of the picture. I wonder if they will ever give up at all.  
Alex: (comes into the room) Cagalli, you ready?  
Cagalli: (gets up, smiling happily)  
Alex: (greets Andrew, Kira, Athrun politely then turns to Cagalli. He puts a hat on her head) Maybe you should tie your hair, too.  
Cagalli: Come on now. Nobody will expect Orb's representative to walk about on the street like a normal person anyway.  
Alex: (turns to Kira) I will take her back to the mansion before 5.  
Kira: (nods)  
Andrew: (sips his coffee, glancing at the quiet Athrun briefly) Have fun, kids.  
They leave.  
Kira: ...Alex thought it would be a good idea to take Cagalli out after all the work she has been stressing over the past weeks...  
Athrun: (too many arrows to count on his back)...(crying)...That's my job!  
Kira: (a deadly Kira-glare) Then quit whining and do something. If you can't at least peel that Meer girl's hands off of you, Athrun, I will give my sister to Alex any day. Thank you for the coffee, Waltfeld-san (gets up and leaves)  
Athrun: ...(crying)...

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Author's Note 2:** (laughs) Actually... Athrun's not quite crying, you know. It's the semicolon and the underscore thing that I used then to make his face like crying... But since that doesn't work here at ffn... (shrug helplessly)please try to imagine the picture...

Book one doesn't have a lot. It is written out of pure whims. Back then, the rumor of Cagalli going MIA was...strong. So, we were talking what if she came back with no memory? Yes, that started it all. Book 2, though... (smirk) ...Well, Book 2, I think is a little more interesting since it's JUST Athrun and Cagalli talking back and forth. The near ending was done in a proper format. But I will need to revise all of them first before I post here. So, (evil chuckle) people who have already read it at the forum might miss some small things here and there that I tend to add...

Other than that, this one is a bonus...and my personal favorite. Enjoy.

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Side-story...**

Alex knocks on the door politely.  
Cagalli: Come in.  
Alex: (opens the door and goes inside) Kira and the others are here. They are wait----- What's that?  
Cagalli: (shakes her head and shows him a ZAFT's red uniform) ...I don't know, really. I found it this morning when I was looking for my jacket.  
Alex: ZAFT's elite uniform, isn't it? (walks to her and looks at it) You don't know whose it is?  
Cagalli: (shrugs. Holds the uniform up and looks at it) ...I kept this before I lost my memory, maybe. It must be really important, otherwise I wouldn't have hid it there...  
Alex: (brows raise) There? You've got a secret hiding place for things?  
Cagalli: (absently) Hmm... Yes, but you will never find out where. Now get out (pushes him out playfully) Tell them I will be there in a minute.  
Alex: (smiles) Lacus-san said that you were supposed to wear a dress, by the way.  
Cagalli: (laughs) No way in hell. I'd rather wear a ZAFT uniform than a dress. Now out with you (pushes the laughing Alex out and closes the door behind her)  
Cagalli walks to the bed where she has left the red uniform. She shrugs into the long jacket and looks at herself in the mirror.  
Cagalli: (laughs softly) Yes... given those choices, I'll choose to wear this any day. (tightens the uniform around herself) Was I in love with a ZAFT soldier...?  
Maid: (knocks politely on the door) Cagalli-sama? Shall I help you with your dress?  
Cagalli: (to the door) No, I'm fine. (turns and looks at her reflection in the mirror again then shakes her head) ...Nah. Not possible.  
Folding the uniform neatly and carefully putting it away, Cagalli changes into her casual clothes (no, not a dress) and goes down to meet with the others.

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Please review! 


	2. Book II That which had been broken

Dusted

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**Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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**Author's Note:** In Book 2, there will be 2 parts. One is done in script format (I might consider re-write it later in a proper form) and the other is the normal one. The second part will have a big break from the first one, but…well, I will explain that later. Here is just to prepare you guys, 'cause you might not understand.

So, yes, Book 2 is also very random. It has nothing to do with Book 1 except the memory loss on Cagalli's part. Please note that each 'breaking line' between Cagalli and Athrun's conversation is there because it's how I updated then. Book 2 part 1 is very rough that way since it had been done very randomly. I decided to put it up because I think it's kind of cute when Athrun tried to explain to Cagalli the crab incident.

THANKS to the reviewers:

Water – thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed reading. Hey, I actually didn't expect there would be a lot of review for "Dusted", since most stuff is not so well made. So, thanks!

LadyRinUchiha – For Book 1, I don't think I will turn it into a proper fic, since I have another which is kind of similar anyway. _That_ one, now, I intend to turn it into a fic but with slightly different storyline. Yes, it is an Athrun angst fic where Cagalli had no memory of him. In fact she could barely remember anyone… But if you want to use some of the stuff in Book 1, sure, go for it. I'm really looking forward to reading that!

moi – (laugh) Alex Dino was born into this story when we were talking about Athrun not being so nice to Cagalli after he came back to being 'Athrun Zala' again. We thought Cagalli deserved better so, we came up with this idea of having another guy for her. Who could be better than Alex Dino, right? (laugh) In my story, Alex did not relate to Athrun in any way but he looked exactly like him (no clone, no twin, no long lost brother, nothing. Just pure coincidence which can only because I say so, using my author power). Later on in my other story. I gave him black hair and blue eyes. Anything can happen in my very random fic, you see. So, after Cagalli went MIA (which she didn't), Alex was the one who found her and got her back to ORB, where he stayed with her since. All of this, of course, will be done in another story… which will probably be in Book 3 or 4. So, stay tune! Thanks for reviewing my stuff up till now, moi!

asga – I do love you. Really, I do. Thank you for reviewing here and there at the forum! My one-shot project for the twins' birthday will be for you, rubenz-san!

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Book 2...

**Part 1 - That which had been broken…**

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Orb, Onogoro Island…

It was late in the afternoon... the sun would soon set...  
Cagalli threw her shoes on the beach and ran into the sea, laughing happily.  
Athrun smiled. He picked up her shoes and put them together before taking off his own and putting them next to hers.  
Cagalli: (turned to Athrun) Come on! What are you doing over there still?  
Athrun: (shrugged. He made his way down the sandy beach to the sea and...got a splash of sea water in his face) ...Hey! What's that for?  
Cagalli: (laughed) You should be able to dodge that, Athrun! Weren't you the legendary ZAFT ace? Perhaps you are a fake?  
Athrun: Why you! (started chasing after her. Both of them laughed and played together like two small children)  
Tired and all wet, they walked up to the beach and sat down, resting.  
Cagalli: (wrung water from her clothes) Thanks for bringing me out here. I haven't been to the sea for quite a while and I kind of miss it.  
Athrun: I miss coming here with you, too. (put his somewhat dry jacket on the sand) Sit down, Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (stared at him) What? That's your jacket, Athrun!  
Athrun: I know. Don't worry, it's all sandy now that I put it there, so just sit down. Please.  
Cagalli looked at him then sat down.  
Cagalli: ...You said you missed coming here with me. We have been here before, Athrun? Together?  
Athrun: (sighed and sat down next to her) We used to. Things were different then...  
Cagalli: (looked at him) Tell me.  
Athrun: (smiled sadly, looking at the setting sun) Before that... I will tell you another story first...

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Athrun: ...three years ago, I was still part of Klueze's team and I was fighting against the EA. Our team's mission...was to get the Archangel and the Strike... (took a deep breath and closed his eyes) Many things happened. Many things...  
Cagalli: Athrun...  
Athrun: (opened his eyes) It was one of those times... My friends...ZAFT... were attacking the Archangel. I was delayed because of some problem with the transport plane. We were quite far from the battlefield but... there was this skygrasper straying in our way.  
Cagalli: ...(absent look in her eyes) a skygrasper...  
Athrun: We shot and got shot. The Aegis, my mobile suit then, was ejected and I landed on one of the small islands scattering in the ocean.  
Cagalli: What happened to that skygrasper?  
Athrun: (smiled slightly as he remembered) Fate had it that it landed on the same island as me. (laughed a little) And we met. I and that pilot. It's one meeting that I will never forget.  
Cagalli: ...What happened?  
Athrun: (glanced at her, smiling a small sad smile) We fought. We thought of each other then as enemy, so... (he shrugged) Given the situation, it made sense that we did what we did.  
Cagalli: (thought for a moment...) You didn't kill him, did you?  
Athrun: No, I didn't. Almost, though. I would have killed that pilot at that time but then... _she_ screamed.  
Cagalli: (eyes widened) Huh?

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Cagalli: ...a girl?  
Athrun: (nodded, smiling) A girl.  
Cagalli: (frowned) So, what is it if she's a girl? It doesn't say anywhere that only guys can pilot a skygrasper or mobile suit, does it? So what if that pilot's a girl?  
Athrun: (blinked at her) ...I didn't say anything, Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (blinked) ...Ah...no, you didn't.  
Silence...  
Cagalli: ...then what happened? You said you didn't kill her, right?  
Athrun: (snapped out of his thought) Huh? Oh that...no, I didn't kill her. I tied her up and threw her gun into the sea...  
Cagalli: She had a gun, too?  
Athrun: (nodded) Yes. One shot grazed my arm a bit...  
Cagalli: ...And then?  
Athrun: I left her at the beach and went back to Aegis. I tried to contact my friends but the airwaves were jammed. It was almost evening when came that squall.  
Cagalli: A squall...? (she turned to look at the sea) There was rain...  
Athrun: (smiled) So there was. She was a stubborn girl, that one. Even all tied up as she was, she still tried to... I don't know what she tried to do then but she just wouldn't give up.  
Cagalli: ...And?  
Athrun: A thunder probably scared her or something must have startled her because she rolled down and into the water. The rope, I think, got stuck in a crack, so she couldn't get up.  
Cagalli: (her face scrunched up) It was such a pain...  
Athrun: (nodded) Must be. Anyway... I moved the Aegis' arm to shield her from the rain before I got down. To be honest though... (chuckled) I did that so I wouldn't get too wet actually.  
Cagalli: (punched his arm lightly) Some gentleman you are, Athrun Zala.  
Athrun: (laughed) I am one of a kind. Just like you, princess Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (snapped) Don't call me that! I hate it when people call me princess. Tell me what happened after that.  
Athrun: (looked at her, eyes twinkling with amusement) I went down and asked what she was doing. You know what she said?  
Cagalli: (arched her brow at him) If I were that girl, I would say 'Can't you tell already?'  
Athrun: (burst out laughing) ...haha..ha… (wiped his eyes) Of course... Of course, _you_ would say that...  
Cagalli: (angry) What's so funny about that!  
Athrun: (chuckled) If you were that girl, Cagalli, what would you say if I just looked at you?  
Cagalli: (gave him a weird look) Well, if I were her, I wouldn't be able to move, would I? 'Don't just stand there! Hurry up and help me!' probably...  
Athrun: (bit his lip)...'I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do.'  
Cagalli: (suddenly angry) 'Just hurry up and do as I say!'  
Athrun: (broke into another fit of laughter)... Oh god!...I can't believe...! (held his stomach as he laughed)... Oh Cagalli...  
Cagalli: (her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, she just realized what she had just said)...It's not possible...  
Athrun: (calmed down. He's gasping a little from laughing so much. He wiped away the tears from his eyes, which held a faint light of deep sadness, and said in a solemn voice) ...Maybe. Maybe not...  
Cagalli: (stared at him)…What do you mean?  
Athrun: (shrugged slightly and lay down on the sand, sighing) Anyway...

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Athrun: (stared at the darkening sky, thinking about what he would say next) ...So... I helped her up and I cut the ropes...  
Cagalli: (looked at him, tilting her head slightly) That easy, Athrun? Didn't you say that you thought her your enemy?  
Athrun: (remembered the exact events and blushed)...ah...  
Cagalli: (noticed his blush but brushed it away as the light from the setting sun instead) Tell me the truth.  
Athrun: ... (was trying his damnedest to keep his blushing under control) ...Just...give me a second, okay?  
Cagalli: (blinked, then shrugged) Fine. (drew her knees up, resting her chin on her arms. She closed her eyes)  
Athrun: (glanced at her direction. He suddenly became sad... _she remembers but at the same time she doesn't... will she ever remember at all?_) ...Cagalli?  
Cagalli: (opened her eyes and turned to him) Hmm?  
Athrun: (rolled onto his side and looked at her) Cagalli... I helped her up and there was this...crab crawling out of her hair and onto my arm. We stared at it and, before it reached half-way, it fell off and gone. I... (lowered his eyes, feeling his cheeks warmed) I...laughed.  
Cagalli: (blinked at him then frowned a bit) What's so funny about a crab?  
Athrun: (smiled sadly) Well...I just hadn't experience much of this sort of thing...  
Cagalli: Aren't there any crab in the PLANTs or what? (turned away)  
Athrun: (looks at her intently for a moment then said in a flat tone) You don't remember.  
Cagalli: (upset) Now I am supposed to be that girl, Athrun?  
Athrun: ... (thoughtfully) No. (sighed) No, you are not supposed to be that girl, Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (turned her face away from him)  
Athrun: ...She hopped out of Aegis' shield... She hopped out into the rain then. It was the sand, she said. She looked so happy standing in the rain like that...  
Cagalli: ...  
Athrun: I couldn't think of her as my enemy anymore after I saw her...smile. I went to her and cut the ropes. Without weapon, she was no threat to me, I thought then.  
Cagalli: (snorted)  
Athrun: (smiled a bit) A crab on your shirt, Cagalli.  
Cagalli: (eyes widened and got up suddenly) Wha---! Where---! Ah--!  
Athrun: (sat up and calmly, accurately pulled a small crap from the hem of her shirt) Here.  
Cagalli: (blinked at the crab) ...You're right.  
Athrun: (the smile on his face faded and he turned abruptly from her, blushing) ...ah...Cagalli...your, ah, shirt...  
Cagalli: What...? ...(suddenly realized what he meant and quickly pulled down her shirt)...!  
Minutes of embarrassed silence...  
Athrun: (cleared his throat) So...err...

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Athrun: I...(eyes widened, he stopped speaking suddenly. His face turned white...then red...then back to white again)...  
Cagalli: (becoming worried) Athrun...are you feeling okay?  
Athrun: Ah...I...I'm f-fine.  
Cagalli: What is it? What's wrong?  
Athrun: (face turned red this time) er...umm...  
Cagalli: (started to get impatient) Athrun, tell me.  
Athrun: (was swearing three languages in his head all at once... _how is he supposed to tell her about what happened next!_)... ah…  
Cagalli: (a thin cord of patience snapped. She grabbed at his shirt collars and shook him) Just spill it out already, damnit!  
Athrun: (said everything in one breath) Iaksedhertotakeoffherclothesbecauseshe'sgoingtobesickifshewearswetclothestherestofthenight!  
Cagalli: (eyes wide. Somehow she managed to understand what Athrun just said which was basically, 'I asked her to take off her clothes because she's going to get sick if she wears wet clothes the rest of the night!')...Oh...(let go of his shirt and started to blush furiously)  
Athrun: (face as red as a ripe tomato) I didn't mean to do anything! I was just concerned and she _was_ wet! I--- It gets really cold at night in those areas and---  
Cagalli: (put her hand up, stopping him)...It's okay... Just...give me a second...  
Silence...both took time to calm themselves and their blushes.  
Cagalli: ...Then, what? What happened after that?  
Athrun: (heat shooting up to his face again just hearing her voice) …I got some ration out of the Aegis and gave her a blanket, then I left to find some sticks since we had no choice but to stay on that island for the night.  
Cagalli: ...  
Athrun: (cleared his throat) When I came back to the cave, she's...covered and her clothes were already hung on a long stick so they could dry. I started the fire... Outside, it rained for a while longer before it stopped.  
Cagalli: (nodded and looked up at the sky) I wish we will have rain soon, too.  
Athrun: (looked up as well) Aa... But you don't want it now or we both are going to get wet again and we might catch a cold later.  
Cagalli: (looked at the setting sun) Athrun, it's late. Shouldn't we go back now?  
Athrun: (turned to looked at her)...We should. But do you want to go? Really?  
Cagalli: (turned to look at him. She looked into his eyes for a while) ...Tell me more.

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Athrun: ...Since her pack got washed away, I shared my ration with her. (chuckled) She wouldn't take it at first but then... her stomach protested. She had to swallow her pride along with the food...  
Cagalli: Humph...  
(growls)  
Cagalli: (blinked, then blushed. She glanced at Athrun and found that he's blushing also)  
Athrun: ...You hungry, too?  
Cagalli: (nodded)...(looked for her bag. Found it. Opened. And got out a couple of snack bars, candies, and some chocolates)  
Athrun: ...(blinked) You still keep this many sweet in your bag?  
Cagalli: (glared at him) Oh, shut up. You should be glad that there's any at all. (threw a snack bar at him)  
Athrun: (caught it easily. He stared at her)  
Cagalli: (took a bite out of her 'food'. Noticed his stare and glared at him) What?  
Athrun: (shrugged) Just that...you didn't change as much as I thought you had. After everything that happened...  
Cagalli: (looked at him strangely, then looked away and said in a quiet voice) You should not say such thing when you know almost nothing, Athrun Zala.  
Athrun: ... I am sorry.  
Cagalli shrugged nonchalantly.  
They ate in silence.  
Cagalli: ...So...(took out a bottle of water and drank from it)...what happened after that? Did you tie her up? (gave Athrun the bottle)  
Athrun: (looked at the bottle, then at her) Huh?  
Cagalli: (impatiently) That's water for you to drink and the question is what did you two do after you gave her something to eat?  
Athrun: Oh...(took the bottle from her somewhat numbly)...we didn't talk much and no, I didn't tie her up. There's no reason to do it, after all.  
Cagalli: (disapproving look) You are too careless. Or is it because you thought she was a girl so you went easy on her?  
Athrun: (sharp look, he snapped at her) I didn't want to think of her as my enemy. If she's really the enemy, if she seemed like a potential threat, I would have finished her long time ago. (looked away) I asked myself later...why didn't I kill her? Why was it that I was more at ease and natural around her, compared to some others who I had known for a long time but still felt just as awkward as the first time...? What was it about this girl... Even now I can't understand her.  
Cagalli: ...  
Athrun: (sighed and looks up at the sky. It's getting dark and stars were coming out) ...I wondered many times before and I wonder again...why did I tell her so many things...? Things that I would rather not speak of to anyone, much less to a stranger, an enemy almost...  
Cagalli: ...What did you tell her?  
Athrun: (sad, absent look in his eyes) Heliopolis... Junius Seven... My mother...  
Cagalli: (looked at Athrun, wide eyes)  
Athrun: ...We both had a fair share of pain and loss in the last war. We lost our families, our friends, our home... Ourselves...  
Cagalli: (her gaze dropped, her face sad... She put her hand over his)  
Athrun: ...We fought our own friends. We killed innocent people. We...

_"I have no intention to shoot you! But you're going to go and attack Earth with that again, aren't you? I know very well that Orb's at fault for making them! But that…that mobile suit will end up killing many people on Earth, won't it?" __  
__" Then shoot me. I'm the one responsible for pulling the trigger on that mobile suit. I'm a ZAFT pilot. I will not allow you to touch my machine. If you insist on using that gun, I will kill you. " _

Athrun: (closed his eyes and a sigh shivered from him) We… we have done so many…things, following blindly because we were so desperate for peace…  
Cagalli: (quiet whisper) Lives lost… loved ones who shall never again return… and those who are left behind continue to grieve… Grieving for the rest of their lives…  
Athrun: (looked down) So much sacrifice… but all for nothing. In the end, peace didn't last for so long… and I...I couldn't protect anyone. Not even the one who's important to me most...  
Cagalli: (deep sorrow in her eyes as she listened. She reached out and gently guided Athrun's head to her shoulder) ...I know.

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Please review!


	3. Book II That whcih had been forgotten

Dusted

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**Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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"READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO ON ANY FURTHER!

**Author's Note: **So... This is part 2 of Book 2. Because the change in writing style suddenly took a turn here, so I kind of 'fast-forwarded' the event some. Athrun told Cagalli everything - from their first meeting till the last time they were together in Destiny, and got separated, then fought on different roads...until she got hurt by thestupid brat as she was trying desperately to protect Takemikazuchi. She went missing. And...blah...blah...blah...they met again months later. He thought until then that she was dead...blah...blah... And that's it, 'kay? I don't know...maybe I will elaborate the story later but, for now, this is it.

THANKS TO ALL REVIEWERS!

**anonymous** - thanks! Glad you like it and (snicker) yes, Athrun should try hard. He should try very hard if that ever happened to Cagalli - the loss of memory and the MIA thing, I mean. I want them to be together but, I don't want a fried-brained Athrun with Cagalli. So, hopefully, the writers and the producer will somehow get both characters to do something to gain back their dignities soon.

**Water **- No, she doesn't remember him. No, they are not 'together' in that sense, but yes, for now, they are together... (laugh) ...some people will be so disappointed when they get to the end of this fic. I hope you won't hate me too much then. Thanks for your reviews!

**Cagalli Yula Athha** - heyla! Long time no see! Yes, I decided to put old stuff here and...what's wrong with the forum anyway? I couldn't log in and...(cry) I can't update, damnit!

**Jenny** - Here's a complete (andconfusing)Book 2 for you. Enjoy!

**asga** - (crycry) I can't update, rubenz-san! Wahh...! (sobsob) What's going on?

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**Book 2...**

**Part2 - That which had been forgotten…**

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Scattering carelessly across the canvas of night sky were the ever bright stars, beloved jewels of heaven. They twinkled greetings at each other merrily as the white moon, although a little late in coming, unhurriedly made her usual graceful ascent to her high throne above. Cold and aloof, she paid no attention to the soft whispering of the stars as they murmured among themselves, peering down curiously at the earth below.

The sea, as always, was humming the long forgotten lullaby to the sleepy sand. The wind, just like before, was caressing tenderly the petals of the drowsy flowers. The trees, standing still and calm as they had been since forever, however, were carefully watching over the grieving couple under their swaying shadows. For the moment – only for this precious moment – they were willing to hide and protect them from Fate and Destiny, who had been playing and toying with their lives and their hearts so cruelly all along.

Her eyes closed, she sighed and snuggled closer into his warm embrace.

He smiled, stroking her hair gently. If only this would last… If only happiness was not so fleeting… if only they could be like before again…

If… If…

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her voice slightly muffled by his chest. "I'm sorry, Athrun."

"No…" he dropped a soft kiss on her head, holding her close to him. "Don't be sorry, Cagalli. And thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for trying…"

She looked up at him and there were tears in her eyes. "I wish I could remember everything… I wish I could remember…remember _you_, Athrun."

A sad light came to his eyes as he smiled down at her. "Maybe someday you will, Cagalli. I, too, wish that you will be able to remember me again someday…one day. Yet, at the same time, I wish that you won't. Sometimes I even wish that you will never ever have to remember me…"

Tears slipped down her cheeks silently. He wiped them away gently.

"But why?" she asked, her voice breaking. "Why?"

He looked into her eyes and could see his own pain and sadness reflected in them.

"Because…" he breathed, leaning in till their foreheads touched. "Because I don't want you to be hurt and be sad again. I have hurt you, Cagalli. And I have made you cried. Again and again, whether it was back then or even now. I should have let you go long, long time ago. After all that have happened, after all that I have done…I have no right to feel what I used to feel for you anymore. I have no right to keep you from happiness…" he sighed. "…I am sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here at all."

"Don't be stupid!" she whispered fiercely to him. Putting her hands to both sides of his face, she gazed intently into his eyes. "If you were my friend or something more then, I have to know! I _need_ to know, Athrun! Even if I have to go through hell all over again to remember everything about you, about me, about us, then damnit I will! I have the right to know and you must give it to me!" Then, her gaze softened, she brushed her fingers at his cheek gently. "Athrun… tell me. Athrun, were we…in love?"

Love…?

Involuntary tears welled up in his eyes, clouding his vision, as he gazed sightlessly into those warm amber orbs.

Love…?

"…We were," he whispered quietly, almost sorrowfully. "We were in love, Cagalli. Once…"

"What happened?" she asked, her trembling voice barely above a whisper.

Athrun closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to hold back the raging emotions inside. The long buried memories returned and played themselves in his mind with such painful clarity that he felt as though he was reliving those moments all over again.

"…After the first war, we came back to ORB and started our new lives. The first thing you did was making sure that we were in somewhere safe where no one would be able to find us. Then, you went out alone and became the representative of the Athha family. You provided all of us with new identities and homes to live in shortly after. You took the burden, the blame, and the responsibility of the last war quietly as we went off to live our new lives. You fought against the other representatives in and outside of ORB, trying to protect us and the peace that came with much sacrifice on your part. You went through things no one your age should ever have to go through or see. You even…" he bit his lip, eyes burning with anger at his own helplessness. "…you even prepared to give up everything, your life and your happiness, if it meant you could protect us and ORB."

Cagalli's eyes widened. "…Yuuna?"

He nodded. "It was one of those rare visits. During the first three months, you had always been very busy and, whenever you came to visit, you would just hide away all your worry and unhappiness, pretending as though you were not tired to the last bone. You forced yourself so hard to be cheerful that day that even Kira was worried. You laughed and you played with the children. You put them to bed then you prepared to leave. We barely had any time to talk with you and you refused to spend the night. You had far too many things to tend to in the morning tomorrow, you said. Things to do and meetings to attend…"

Her eyes dimmed at the mention of 'things' and 'meetings'. Obligation, as much as she hated it and wanted to stay away from it, she just had to do it – or, actually, she was _obligated_ to _perform_ it, like it or not, want it or not.

"Cagalli…"

She looked at him.

"Cagalli, you asked me to walk you to the plane that day. I walked with you there and, when we almost reached it, you told me…"

"I am engaged to someone else…"

Sad green eyes gazed sorrowfully into dull brown ones. Athrun brought his trembling hands to her cheeks and wiped the falling tears away gently. "Cagalli..."

Her hands fell from his face and she choked back a sob. "We...broke up, Athrun? Because of that? Because i was engaged to Yuuna?"

Brushing away strands of golden hair, he tugged them behind her ears. "...We almost did," a broken whisper from him. "Almost. You told me that he approached you today about the engagement. You had almost forgotten all about it since the Seyran never cared too much about you in the past. Even though you were Lord Uzumi's daughter, you would not recieve the title and the power because he intended to give everything to your uncle. Unato Ema Seyran almost broke the engagement when you came back to ORB with the Archangel..."

"But he didn't," she said dully then looked up into his eyes as tears kept falling and falling. Hers. His. Theirs. Back then and now. "Athrun... Did I..."

Athrunput a gentle finger to her lips, stopping her. "You did, Cagalli. But I couldn't accept it. I couldn't and I would never accept it. Even though there was nothing that we could do to change anything, I wouldn't...couldn't...to just stop feeling what I felt for you. I... You told me then..." he closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck. "...You told me that we should stop. In case, you couldn't do anything to change that arrangement... it's best that we just stopped and be friens to each other..."

Cagalli brought one hand to her mouth, stifling a sob.

"You told me to hate you..." his shoulders shook with barely suppressed emotions. "...it's all right if it would help me. If it would help me forget and let go... then it's all right to hate. But, Cagalli...I couldn't do it. I couldn't hate you, no matter how hard I tried. I would never be able to hate you or forget you. We had been through so much together and we shared so many...things. Too much to forget and let go so easily. I... I loved you, Cagalli. Always have and always will..."

Ceaseless tears blinding her vision, she fought desperately to get back any control over herself at all.

She failed miserably.

Athrun held her close to him, whispering soothing words and apologies. That's why he didn't want her to remember. If she remembered she would cry. She would cry and would be in so much pain. All because of him.

Cagalli clutched at his shirt, crying unhappily into his chest. All these...memories...and this person who had loved her so much... and she him once... she couldn't remeber. Not at all...

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..."

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**Author's Note:** Again, here is a break in this part due to update. It is, in a way, a new chapter. But they are still connected, okay? Right. Now on with the next...uhh...part? Ah, bah, nevermind. Just go on.

Do mind the flashbacks. Since my original format doesn't work here, you will have to tumble about a bit.

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_"They never paid much attention to me since Father meant to give his title and everything else to my uncle, ORB's Cheif Representative back then. I think more than once Unato Ema had wanted to break the engagement between me and his precious son, consiering my...well, conduct. More so when Father stepped down and took all the blame of what happened back in Heliopolis to himself..."_

_Sighing, she turned toward the dark sea. "But now that I have become the representative of the Athha family and one who will soon become the Chief Representative of this country, they will do anything they can to keep me and that engagement alive and valid. All because of the pwer that I will hold..."_

_She suddenly broke into laughter, surprising him. That laugh, it was not the same as her usual cheerful, happy one. This one was empty and so very bitter._

_She shook her head. "Power... I shouldn't really use that word since in all the truths, I have none. Anything but that. The political world is far too complicate for me to understand, much less participating in it. But I'm not that stupid either. I know enough to realize that everything which has been given to me up until now is all owe to Father. You see, Athrun, the people of ORB loved Father dearly. I am sure they still love him if what we saw at the the memorial ceremony say anything at all. As for the outside world, they still hold Father in high regard as they always have. Uzumi Nala Athha was a great man when he was alive. Uzumi Nala Athha, the Lion of ORB, became an even greater man when he showed us all the courage to fight and to protect this country's belief and honor. Uzumi Nala Athha... Cagalli Yula Athha's father..." Tears slipped down her face quietly as she stared ahead into the darkness of night. "Cagalli Yula Athha...the princess of ORB...the Representative of the Athha family... She who will eventually take the title of her honorable father and guide this country to true peace as he would have done..."_

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"That was the first time I realized the true weight of the burden on your shoulders..." he sighed, green eyes miserable. "All along, it was you who took the blame and bore that responsibility. All alone, it was you who carried all the obligations, which we should all be doing. At that meoment, I never felt more helpless and weak as I watched you. Helpless...and so very angry.

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_"But how will your marriage to this man brings peace to ORB?" he asked, heart and soul burning with despair, anger,confusion, frustration, and helplessness. "And you must know that Uzumi-sama would rather that you be happy than..."_

_She buried her face in her hands. "I don't know! I don't know, Athrun! Please...don't ase me anymore. Just...please, just forget it."_

_Forget._

_That word was the last straw and he snapped. Now, he was angry. Now, he was very angry._

_Walking up to her, he turned her around and, as carefully as he could at that moment, he took her hands from her face. He tilted her head up slightly and their eyes met. Blazing green met broken gold._

_"Cagalli, what _exactly_ did he say to you?"_

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"He used you, Kira, and the others' to threaten me, didn't he?" she asked, dryly.

Pulling away from her slightly, he nodded. His green eyes reflected so clearly of the raging turmoil inside that it hurt when she looked into them.

She put her hand to his cheek. "Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault..."

He put his hand over hers and turned to press his lips to her palm. "I am sorry."

"Don't be," she brushed away one dark lock that had fallen over his eyes. She managed a small weak smile. "Then...?"

"I tried to make ou tell me but you were so stubborn. You wouldn't tell me a thing."

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_"It doesn't matter," she shook her head. "There's nothing you can do anyway."_

_His eyes flashed. "Doesn't matter? Nothing? So, you think that everything that we have been through together until now doesn't matter and means nothing? That's it, is it?"_

_His words struck hard. She looked at him with horrified eyes._

_"Of course, it doesn't matter. Of course, it doesn't mean anything. I am only a nobodynow after all..."_

_"No!" she cried, her anger rising suddenly. "How could you say such things! There's nothing that can be compared to what we all have been through..."_

_"Then what!" he was very near yelling. "Is it because you never have felt anything for me? Is it just all a lie? Is it that you suddenly fall back in love with this person now that you are back and with him again?"_

_Amber brown eyes widened in shock as she stared at him incredulously, disbelievingly._

_Athrun suddenly let go of her hands as though he got burnt and staggered back a few steps. He looked dazed after that unexpected, hurtful outburst. He didn't meant a word of what he said, no. But the truth that damage had already been done remained. Nothing could erase that. No matter how hard he would grieve and regret, no matter how he would cry and beg after this, if he didn't do anything soon, he would lose her. He would really lose her._

_"Cagalli..." he reached out but she flinched away._

_"That's what you think..." her eyes,hollow andvoid of all emtions, stared blankly at him. "It's what you really think, is it, Athrun?"_

_"No, Cagalli, I---"_

_"You think that everything I have done... more things that I'm prepared to go through... everything that we have all gone through together... You think that I will just forget and throw them away willingly...? You think... you think that all these times I... I love another?"_

_"Cagalli---"_

_"Don't touch me!" she hissed, slapping his hand away hard. Brown eyes burned gold as she glared coldly at him. "Don't you dare touch me, Athrun Zala."_

_He looked at her helplessly, imploringly. "Cagalli, please listen---"_

_"I listen enough." She turned and started briskly toward the waiting plane. "More than enough that I heard from you today, Zala."_

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"If you didn't go after me, I will never forgive you."

Athrun smiled. "I did. And I got a very hard slap in my face for it, too."

"Oh, you deserved it," she saidlightly, caressing his cheek tenderly. "...Did it hurt?"

He nuzzled against her gentle touch. "It did," he admitted softly. "It hurt like hell...exactly how you wanted it then."

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_"Let go!" she struggled furiously against hiim, fighting and kicking like a wild animal. "Let go, Athrun! Let me go!"_

_There would be a lot of bruises when we woke up tomorrow, not to mention that Lacus might have to get a new stock of bandages after this but, he could not have cared about it less at that moment. There's no way he could let her go. Not like this._

_"I said let go!" and a hard stamp on his foot._

_Athrun grunted, wincing at the pain, but he didn't let go of her. At least, god had mercy enough to bless the fact that she didn't wear heels then. "Cagalli, listen---"_

_"I'm not going to listen anymore!" she screamed, too anygry and too hurt to care about anything anymore at that point. "You made yourself clear enough and I understnad, so just let me go already damnit!"_

_"You don't understand anything!" He barely dodged her fist for his head just in time, but was sadly unable to avoid the blow to his rib. Even that, he still wouldn't let her go._

_Since there was no other way around this, he decided to use what he learned from the academy and his expecrience as a ZAFT soldier (graduated with honor and ranked as one of the best soldier, mind you) to stop her._

_But Cagalli proved to be more difficult than he thought her to be. Of course, eventually, got the upper hand and beat her in this fight, all due to obvious reasons. Yet, he knew that if it was Yzak in his place, his friend would have been very angry and extremely embarrassed when, at the very last second, she managed to kick at his foot, causing both of them to tumble and fall in the sand together in a rather...awkward position. Not that it occurred to them at that time, of course._

_His breathing harsh, Athrun pinned her down, his cold green eyes glaring angrily down into her defiant gold ones._

_Cagalli glared right back, her anger matching his._

_Both of them were panting hard and both knew that she would not fight anymore. It was a losing battle since the beginning. He was, after all, a male and a Coordinator, while she was female and only a Natural._

_"I am not letting you go, Cagalli. Not even if it's going to kill me," he whispered, his voice fierce._

_Her eyes flashed challenge. "You are not the one to decide here, Zala. And even if you were, there's nothing you can do to stop me."_

_"We'll see about that," said Athrun grimly and he bent down..._

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**Author's Note: **The last break now. Phew. Congrats for coming this far. Please don't flame me, if you don't like what you read- this I forgot to add earlier. Lots of OOC but hey, since when in my fics, the characters are not OOC, huh?

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"You didn't..." she breathed, staring wide eyes at him. "You didn't...did you?" 

He tried to look apologetic but the bright twinkle in his eyes betrayed him. "I did, Cagalli. And I'm sorry that I didn't feel at all sorry for what I did. Not that I ever felt sorry..." he brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed her fingers. "...Though it kind of hurt a bit then when you bit me."

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_Protective but always kind and loving...Never once reproachful butpatient and understanding... Forever gentle and accepting..._

_It was absurd and impossible to imagine Athrun Zala to be otherwise but that._

_Athrun would never use force against anyone unless absolutely necessary. Athrun would never intentionally hurt anyone physically or emotionally or both. Athrun... Athrun, who became rather timid with his affection for her... Athrun, who always asked for permission, be it in his eyes or his words, to even touch her heand... Athrun..._

_That Athrun would never kiss her the way he was kissing her now._

_Cagalli could taste the bitterness of his angry desperation in the bruising kiss. His lips crushed down on hers ruthlessly, stealing her breath away and leaving her weak in his arms. The raw, intense passion startled her as she helplessly clung to him, trembling, while the tiny irretional part of her mind buzzed with thrill at the fierce possessiveness which she knew, under any other circumstance, he would never ever show to her._

_But, despite everything, her temper flared even more. If he thought a kiss would quiet her down into submission, he was greatly mistaken. It might work to any other girl out there but she was Cagalli Yula Athha. She would never submit to a fight easily. Never. So, she did the only thing that came to her mind at that moment..._

_She bit him._

_Athrun pulled away instantly. He looked surprised for the briefest second but then his anger returned with more force than before as he glared downat her._

_The metallic taste of blood lingered in her mouth and she glared right back at him with enough fury to match his. Inwardly though, she was busy stamping down the faintest hint of guilt at the sight of red blood on his lip._

_Athrun, still pinning her to the ground, wiped the blood away with one hand, his green eyes glinting dangerously in the pale light of the white moon._

_"I'm afraid I will have to disappoint you,_ princess," _he whispered, leaning closer till their faces were only inches apart. "But I'm not sorry at all for what I did."_

_"And I'm not sorry for biting you!" she snapped, verbally and literally. "I hope it will hurt you like hell later!"_

_He pulled away slightly when she snapped at him. Now, he looked down at her, merely looking at her. His face was unreadable as he scrutinized her with those sharp eyes._

_Cagalli scowled angrily at him, refusing to give in to the urge to squirm while determindedly fanning at her slowly dimming anger. Her resistane would die the her moment her anger did._

_Then, out of the blue and in a very blunt, very un-Athrun like, he said, "You really are going to marry him."_

_It was not a question but a flat and simple statement. Cagalle was tempted so much to slap him, to bite him, to do anything at all that would just hurt him. Oh, if only she could free one of her hands from his grasp...!_

_"For the last time," she hissed, her eyes flashing white fire of cold fury. "I _will_ marry that purple hairball freak of nature if it is for the sake of ORB and the people I love. Against all my wishes, I will marry him for that sole reason.Even though, right at this second,one of the pople I love so much is now acting worse than a moronic jerk to me..."_

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She nodded. "Yes, you were quite a jerk for saying that."

He chuckled.

"Probably I was," he said and pulled her close to him. "But it was worth it. The slaps, the punches, the kicks, even the bite... they were all worth it for what happened after that."

She looked at him curiously. "What happened?"

He smiled. "Well..."

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_Cagalli was caught off guard when he bent down and pressed his lips to hers again._

_This kiss was different from the one earlier and the few others they had shared before in the past. In fact, it was much, much diffrent..._

_Achingly sweet and infinitely gentle, he took his time showing her the unspoken feelings he had been feeling for her ever since the end of the war._

_Cagalli couldn't help but gave in this time. She was just so sick of fighting this stupid fight. She never wanted to fight since the beginning and she was tired of acting strong. She just wanted to drop her pretense for once and just be...what she used to be._

_Shyly, timidly, she responded to the kiss. The tears she had been holding back for so long flowed down her cheeks as she let herself be lost in her emotions, his emotions, theirs... Lost, and to be caught by him._

_Eventually, and with much reluctance, Athrun broke the kiss._

_He looked down at her with love clear in his gentle green eyes. He bent down and brushed a soft kiss to her forehead as he whispered, "I love you, Cagalli. No matter what will happen in the future, I will always love you."_

_Tears rolling down her cheeks quietly, she held onto him as though he was her life line. "...Always?Even though...even though I have to marry someone else that is not you...?"_

_He kissed her tears away, and smiled down at her sadly. "If really there is no way we can get through that, then yes, I will. I will love you still and will always be here to protect you. Even if we cannot be together, even if you will become another's, I will continue to love you for the rest of my life."_

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Athrun wiped her tears away tenderly.

"Is that why you became my bodyguard later?" she asked, swallowing back a sob.

He nodded. "I wanted to be near you. I wanted to be there for you as you had always been there for all of us and for me. We were hoping, you and I, that perhaps we could find a way to break the engagement somehow..."

"But we didn't."

"We might have, if it wasn't because there were so many things to think about and be taken care of then." He sighed. "Things turned out for the worse after the visit to PLANT to see the Chairman. I never thought things would turn out the way they had..."

She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest. Those were the things which needed to be talked over later. Now... for now, she didn't want to think anymore.

Athrun placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and held her for a whil longer. In truth, he never wanted to ever let her go again but, sooner or later, they would have to go back. And if it's any later... well, he didn't want to think how he would be interrogated by both Kira and Kisaka at once.

"It's late," he said, sighing regretfully. "I think I should get you back now before they send out national guards to look for both of us."

A small sigh that echoed his, she nodded and reluctantly pulled away. Cagalli allowed him to help her up to her feet. They quietly brushed sand of their somewhat dry clothes, lost in their own thoughts.

From this point on, nothing would be the same again for the both of them. But then, things had never been the same for them ever since he had left and she losing all her memories. Things always changed for them and this new change... although they didn't quite know yet what to make of it now...

Athrun turned to Cagalli. He watched her unsuccessfully combing tangles from her hair with her fingers.

"You look fine," he said, smiling at her fondly. "Don't you know that you are always beautiful, princess Cagalli?"

Her hands droppedand she stared at him, blinking in surprise. Then, blushing a deep shade of red, she muttered, "Oh be quiet, you. And don't call me princess."

Athrun chuckled. She was cute. Very cute.

_Although they were not quite sure how things would be for them now or in the future..._

He held out his hand to her, palm up. "Cagalli."

She looked at his hand, then at his face.

Athrun smiled, then he said the words he hadn't said for a long time. "Let's go home."

_Although she might never gain back the memories of what they had shared together in the past..._

Cagalli's eyes widened slightly. And then, she smiled at him. It was the most beautiful smile he ever remembered seeing.

_At least now they had each other..._

She put her hands in his and said those words he hadn't heard for the longest time...

"I am home, Athrun. With you."

_And that's all that mattered._

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(Author chokes and dies of fluff...)

Please review!


	4. Book III A Random Very Happy Birthday

Dusted

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**Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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READ THIS BEFORE YOU GO ON ANY FURTHER!

This one may seem a little stupid but...(laugh)...it really came out of nowhere. It just happened that I was at the forum then and was chatting with "Kira-double" about how, if he had to choose, Kira (the character) would choose to protect Lacus first and not Cagalli if _both_ of them were in danger. It was by chance that at that time I wanted to write fics for the twins' birthday, so, from chatting it turned into somewhat of a story. I think it funny, so I decided to put it up here. (laugh)

Anyway. As always, don't flame me if you don't like what you read.

By the way, MANY THANKSto those who reviewed!

moi - (coughcough) But moi! I'm more on the angst side! I'm horrible when it comes to...romance. You can tell, can't you, that I try not to go too far into there and focus more on the characters' angst. Last time I tried, I read it and I wanted to strangle myself. (shake head) If it's not for the random conversations at the forum, I don't think I would be able to write this far. By the way, Book 2 is not a sequel to Book 1.

ANONYMOUS - I will try. If only my inspiration will come back (cry).

LadyRinUchiha - (buried in fluff) fluff is evil. As for the length, my apologies. I was just to lazy to continue into Book 2 part 3 and 4. Hope you will update your stuff soon!

Genny - This is one happy-ending story, courtesy to "Kira-double" of Seed Genesis, otherwise it won't be this light and funny. Glad you like the story and thanks for reviewing!

asga - Let's have a random conversation, then maybe I can come up with Kira/Cagalli fic. You see (apologetically) my inspiration has run away not long ago and now I'm left with...empty head.

* * *

**Book 3...**

**A Random Very Happy Birthday**

* * *

_- A little reminder: Because the conversation is honestly very random, so do expect extreme OOC on each character' parts and the fact that this IS joint writing, there's bound to be some weird disconnection, which I hope you will try to overlook them. Break suggests the change of - er - author? Oh never mind, it's just that the Kira part is done by "Kira-double" and the Lacus and Cagalli is done by me. Just to let you know, I made some modification on Kira's speech with "Kira-double" permission, so those who already read the original, don't come flaming me about it._

* * *

Kira:Please...Please, Lacus, Cagalli, don't do this...  
Lacus and Cagalli back him against a wall.  
Kira: (gets cornered and whimpers) I really should have let Rau kill me...

Lacus: (pink wig and clips in hands) But Kira...you like pink, don't you?  
Cagalli: Yes. And you have such a...(bites her lip)...a sweet face, too. Your eyes will go perfectly with this dress.  
Lacus: So, be a good boy...  
Cagalli: And let us do the job...  
Lacus: (catches Kira's collar before he can runs away. Smiles sweetly) It's your birthday, after all.

Kira: But it's---it's Cagalli's birthday, too!Lacus! What are you--- Noooooooooo!  
Is forced into lacus' clothes  
Kira: ...I'm shocked, one that this happened, two, that the clothes actually fits...am I that skinny? (whimpers) Please don't do this! Have some mercy!

Lacus: But of course, Kira, I make this one a little bigger to fit you. Just for you...you know.  
Cagalli: (gives Lacus cosmetic set) Not my field. You do it.  
Lacus: Thank you, Cagalli-san. Er...will you...tie Kira to the chair a bit more tightly, too? It won't take long if he stays VERY still.  
Cagalli: You sure, you don't want me to gag him?  
Lacus: (looks at the whimpering, sobbing Kira then kissed his cheek)...There, he stops. Now, Cagalli-san!  
Cagalli: (ties more ropes around Kira)

Kira: Nooohoh! (sobs) WHY! I thought you two loved me! (to Cagalli) In a sister way for you...

Cagalli: (gives a sharp pull to the ropes, causing Kira to wince. Then says very sweetly) I love you, too, little brother.  
Lacus: And I do love you, Kira. (closes his dropping mouth shut and applies some lipstick on. She giggles) There! You look perfect!  
Cagalli: (slowly unties Kira. She looks at him and snorts) You look even more girlie than I do, Kira. (turns to Lacus) Lacus, do you think we should pursuade Athrun to dress like...Meer Campbell instead of his - er - former superior?  
Athrun, in Klueze's white uniform, happened to walk pass by. He froze on the spot.  
Athrun: Lacus...? (squints his eyes)...! Kira!

Kira: Athrun, as my friend, don't laugh at me..and Athrun, as your friend, run! Before theymake you dress like Meer!  
Athrun: (shocked. Turns to see the dangerous gleams in the otherwise very innocent faces of Lacus and Cagalli. He backs away from them and runs out of the mansion, escaping in his Savior)  
Cagalli and Lacus glare at kira as he tries to stand up in his long white skirt.  
Cagalli:(accusingly) You lost me my chance at Athrun!  
Kira: (face pale, then gulps)...

Lacus: Don't worry, I ordered the others to pull a thing or two in Savior. Athrun should be back in around...(looks at the clock)...half an hour. Now, Kira... (looks at him) That's not very nice.  
Cagalli: (takes Kira's EA uniform with her and goes behind the screen) It's your own fault for drawing that stupidpaper out yourself.  
Lacus: (glances at her - or Cagalli's - green dress) This one is very comfortable... Maybe I should get a similar one but in pink next time.  
Cagalli: (walks out from behind the screen,dressed in Kira's uniform. She's pulling the brown wig in place) How do I look?  
Kira: ...0.0...(That's...ME!)  
Lacus: (gasps) Cagalli-san! (catches herself and giggles) "Kira"! Oh, Kira, you look wonderful! (pecks Cagalli on the cheek)  
Kira: ...O.O...

Kira: I hate my life..shoot me now!

Lacus and Cagalli laugh, then they walk around to kiss Kira on the cheek on either side.  
Cagalli: We do love you, little brother. Very much so, that's why we are 'playing' with you.  
Lacus: Happy Birthday, Kira.

Kira: (blushes and relents)...thank you...I guess.

Somewhere else...  
Athrun: (gets out of a broken Savior)...I should have never believed Kira.  
Meer: (appears out of nowhere) Athrun, you look so cool in white! (attaches herself to his arm) When will you propose to me? You know I will say yes, right? Right?  
Athrun: (face pales to match the uniform) Look, Meer, I already proposed...  
Meer: (eyes bright, grinning from ear to ear) Let's get married then! Today!  
Athrun: OoO !  
-----  
Cagalli: (to Kira) You know, I really think that we forgot something...  
Kira: (happily eating away his birthday cake) Of course, we didn't. Here, you like strawberry, right?  
Cagalli: (eats the strawberry from Kira's fork)  
Lacus: Kira! Lacus! Smile!  
_Click!_

(15 minutes later)

Kira is stuffed with cake and lying on the floor as Lacus and Cagalli pokes him with a stick...

Meer: (gushing) It's just so convenient that you wear white Athrun (dragging him to the isle with her). You look hot and I'm sure every girl in PLANTs must be very jealous of me right now...  
Athrun: (in his mind - !#$&) Meer, let go! I'm not marrying you!  
Meer: (giggles) Don't be embarrassed by the cameras, Athrun, it's okay...  
Athrun: o.O...! I'm not embarrassed! I just DON'T WANT to marry you! I already proposed to SOMEONE ELSE!

somewhere else -  
Cagalli: (stops poking Kira and turns to Lacus) This looks kinda wrong, Lacus. Seeing 'you' all stuffed with cake.  
Lacus: (takes photo) Hmm... It's something that I would never do - and I won't - but if someone asks I can use this as proof that 'Lacus' did do something not too intelligent.  
Cagalli: (stares at her) Why would you want to do that?  
Lacus: (shrugs) People think I'm perfect, and really, they are closer to the truth than they know. But sometimes, I just want to get those who won't believe so off my back and let them believe that I'm human, too.  
Cagalli: Uh...Okay. (turns on the TV)...  
TV: The young couple is now walking down the isle. Commander Athrun Zala and Lacus Clyne, our PLANTs' future...  
Cagalli: (spits out her drink) OoO  
Lacus: (almost drops her camera) 0.0  
TV: (shows Meer giggling, then suddenly Athrun pulled his arm away from her)  
Athrun: I just DON'T WANT to marry you! I already proposed to SOMEONE ELSE!  
Cagalli: OoO...  
Lacus: 0.0...(smirks)... (go, Athrun. At last you have the guts to tell that imposter of me now!)

Athrun: The only person that I intend to marry - that I want to marry - is not you, Meer. I'm sorry.  
Meer: (looks like she's about to cry) No, no, Athrun! What are you talking about?  
Athrun: (deep breath) Only... only Cagalli Yula Athha will I ever marry to. Only her, and no one else. Meer, I don't love you. I love Cagalli.

Cagalli: ...(blushed bright red like a tomato, then expression turned determined. Turns to Lacus) Lacus, let me borrow the key.  
Lacus: (happily) Here you are (gives her the key from pink haro). Please come back before dinner.

Reporters: Meer? Meer as in Meer Campbell? Hasn't she been locked away with the Seyrans already?  
Athrun: (walks away)  
Meer: (catches Athrun's arm) Athrun!  
Athrun: I'm sorry (takes her hands off him). But I have to go back now. They are waiting for me. She is waiting for me.  
Random person: What's that!  
Random girl: (screams)  
Random people: It's a MS!  
Athrun: (turns, wide eyes)...The Freedom?  
Freedom landed, and out came... uhh... Kira Yamato.  
Kira: (runs to Athrun and hugs him) Athrun!  
Athrun: OoO  
Everyone else: OoO  
Athrun: Kira, what are you do---  
Kira: (pulls away and kisses him)  
Athrun: O.O...  
Everyone else: OoO...  
Kira: (breaks the kiss and blushes)...Athrun, I love you, too.  
Athrun was bashing his head mentally for thinking that 'Kira' was damned cute blushing like that. He suddenly realizes something, though...  
Athrun: (reaches up and pulls the brown wig, which gave away easily)...(smiles widely)...Cagalli.  
Everyone else: OoO  
Athrun: (laughs, immensely relieved)...God, you really scared me for a minute there. I will NEVER ever play this game of Lacus again. (takes her hands, ignoring the gaping Meer completely) Cagalli...I know this is not the best of time but...just in case I don't have the guts to say this again...(deep breath)...Cagalli Yula Athha, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Today?  
Cagalli: (wide eyes) You want us to...get married...now?  
Athrun: Do you mind?  
Cagalli: (looks down at her clothes)...Don't you?  
Athrun: Well...it looks a bit wrong but...we can always have a second wedding. Third, forth, as many as you like.  
Cagalli: (smiles) Then, I will marry you, Athrun Zala. Today.  
Athrun: (smiles and pulls her into a long, deep kiss) I forgot to tell you... (gently leads Cagalli, who was blushing brightly, down the isle)...but happy birthday, Cagalli.

( Freedom and wedding...ring a bell, anyone?)

(Lastly from Kira-double)

Kira was groaning from the cakes as Lacus sits on him, using him as a cushion chair.  
"Awww...they're so cute!" Lacus said looking at the TV. "When will we do that Kira-chan?...I mean, Lacus-sama..." Kira whimpered as he rubbed his stomach.  
"Hmmm..." Lacus poked him. "You look cute...like...chubby SD Lacus!"  
Kira:

* * *

(laugh)

Please review... if you find this one is good enough, that is.


	5. Book III A Random Very Happy Birthday 2

Dusted

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**Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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**Author's Note:** Although I have said before that "Dusted" is a collection of old work at the forum I did back then, I decided to add also recent work I just finished now and again. "Another Random Very Happy Birthday" is one such, considering that it's done yesterday night as a thank to "asga", a friend I met in Seed Genesis. Anyway...I hope you will find this one all right, too, though I have to warn you that this one has NO solid plot whatsover. It's written out of pure impulse, as well as because I just wanted to see AsuCaga moments more, is all. Therefore, as I always said, DON'T flame me if you don't like what you read, thanks!

By the way, many many thanks to those who reviewed!

Yun Fei - Cagalli could pilot Freedom because...(grin) I said so. It's just so convenient that she got to dress as her twin, too, ne?

asga - thanks! Since you've already read this one at the forum, though, I will just say that thanks for sticking with me this far, here and there.

ANONYMOUS - haha, you think so? Thank you. As for my inspiration...(laugh) it's all because of "Kira-double" and my wish to torture Kira, the character, because at one point in Destiny, he did act a little mean to Cagalli and well (shrug) I just didn't like it, so...

* * *

**Book 3...**

**Another Random Very Happy Birthday**

* * *

What do you do when you love someone - really, really love that someone - and you want to throttle that so very important someone so much at the same time?

_She said five minutes, but it's already half an hour._

Alex Dino, otherwise known as Athrun Zala among his friends, glanced at the clock on the wallfor the twenty-third time then turned to glare darkly at the handsome mahogany door of the Chief Representative's office room. His green eyes held such hatred for it that it's quite a wonder the door was still there and not removed and burned to dust yet.

Earlier, right after a long and very tedious conference, Cagalli told him that, before she called it a day, she needed to have a look at a couple of reports in her office first. She even promised to have dinner with him tonight, too, actually.

_"Just five minutes!" pled Cagalli. "Please. It's really important, Athrun!"_

_"Cagalli, you promised that you would rest as soon as this finished!"said Athrun unhappily. "You haven't had a wink of sleep and you haven't had anything besides coffee and bread for three days straight. You said you would stop doing everything for the rest of this week as soon as you were done with the conference!"_

_"I know, I know!" she pulled her hands away from his gentle grasp. "I will rest, I promise you. I will have a _proper _dinner tonight, too, if that will make you happy. But let me have a look at them first. Please?"_

_Athrun looked at her for a moment, then sighed. "All right then. Only ten minutes, though."_

_Cagalli smiled triumphantly, albeit tiredly. "It won't take that long. Give me five minutes, Athrun. Oh, you can wait and do something else outside. Give Kira and Lacus a call. Tell them we will visit them this weekend."_

_Before he could reply she already flew into her office, closing the door behind her with a sharp, decisive snap._

Athrun knew very well that Cagalli, for some reasons, really hated to be interrupted when she was working. She had gotten quite angry with him once when he tried to pry her away from mountains of work that more than half of them weren't quite her job at all.

_Who could have thought that she was a workaholic?_ thought Athrun, walking toward the door. He pressed his ear to the smooth surface and listened. _Although she seems to become a little more vicious the past couple of weeks if the incident with that purple hairball earlier this week. It is almost worth it to see him got kicked out with his precious roses shoved down his mouth like that, though. Almost. _Athrun smirked at the memory as he recalled Yuuna Roma Seyran's face then.

Athrun frowned when his keen hearing sense could dectect neither the usual sound of papers rustling or the brisk noise of her re-arranging things on her table. He could hear faintly the sound of the recorded report from the computer, but he couldn't hear the sound of typing, which suggested that...

Turning on the doorknob, Athrun slipped into the room silently. His expression softened, his green eyes chagrined, as he looked upon the frail form of the Chief Representative of Orb, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha, who had fallen in her battle against exhaustion finally.

Sighing, Athrun made his way to the table and, very gently, loosened the determined grip she had on her pen and papers before he gathered her in his arms, ready to leave the gloomy office at last.

Cagalli opened her eyes sleepily when she felt herself being lifted and held in a familiarly warm embrace.

"Ath...run?" she murmured, blinking drowsily at him.

"Go to sleep, Cagalli. It will be a while yet before we get back to the house."

She muttered something not too intelligible and made a weak attempt to fight against him, struggling to be put down.

Athrun, a little surprised and a great deal confused, didn't let her down, no. Well, for one obvious reason, she would fall if he did, and it would hurt her. He didn't want her hurt, so, of course, he didn't let go and it didn't take her that long to give up anyway, given her current condition.

Defeated, Cagalli, scowling, rest her head on his shoulder tiredly and said in an unhappy voice, "So I really can't finish it in time..."

"You mean the report?" asked Athrun. "You should ask Kisaka to help. I think I might be able to help you, too, if you will let me."

She shook her head. "Not the report." A frustrated sigh. "Never mind. This will have to do then, finished or no. Athrun, put me down for a second."

He thought for a moment but then complied. Putting her down, he kept one arm around her to steady her as she moved, a little clumsily, to the table.

Cagalli pulled the right drawer out and---Athrun's eyes widened---she presented to him, shyly, a hand-made red scarf.

"I wanted to finish it by tonight," said Cagalli ruefully. "I just need to work a little more at the ends of both sides but..."

Athrun took the scarf and felt its softness in one hand, then he looked at her appreciatively, as well as very cluelessly. "Cagalli, I---Uhh, this...why are you giving me...?"

Cagalli stared at him, incredulous. "Athrun...it's your birthday today. You don't...remember?"

He blinked. The 29th of October... today? His birthday?

_Oh._

Athrun blushed, embarrassed and feeling a little stupid. "Aa...I guess I did. I haven't thought about anything much lately except..." he broke off abruptly.

"Except what?" asked Cagalli, drawing closer to him.

He looked at her and couldn't help but noticed the fatigue and strain on her features. He felt then,for no reason at all, very guilty.

Cupping her cheek gently with one hand, he told her."I have been thinking about you. I have been worried about you. Yet, I couldn't do anything at all to help you, not even a little. I'm sorry, Cagalli. I'm sorry and..." he smiled a sad, helpless smile. "With all the work you still find time to think of me and do this... I don't know but, I don't think I deserve this at all."

"Don't be ridiculous," Cagalli snapped sharply. Then, her expression softened. "Actually...maybe I should be the one who says sorry. After all, I have been too occupied with my work too much lately and I haven't talked with you or anyone properly for a long time, it seems. I..." she sighed, looking miserably disappointed. "I...actually planned something for us tonight but now it was all ruined because of the stupid conference today that dragged on and on. I didn't mean to fall asleep last night, or today, when I knitted..."

Athrun chuckled at her honest confession and he drew her into his arms again. "...Thank you."

"Thank you, too." Cagalli took the scarf from his hand and put it around his neck."Thank you for worrying about me. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for always being here for me, Athrun."

He smiled down at her tenderly. "Thank you for caring about me at all, Cagalli."

She smiled back. "Happy birthday, Athrun."

* * *

I keep saying that I'm choking and dying of fluff but now...(shake head)...I seem to for-ever contradict myself, huh? Oh well.

Please review!


	6. Book IV A Letter to Heaven

**Dusted**

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**Disclaimer:** As always, I don't own anything, except my own plot.

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**Author's Note:** Oh. My. God. Oh my lord god… (faint) I can't believe this. I can't believe I wrote this one.

For those who have read this one before, you might remember a different version of it. One which I put here long time ago was intended to be done in two chapters. This one…(choke)…is the original I can't remember anymore (although, posting it here, of course, I have to make some correction and modification a little first). If it's not because a friend put this up on her site and told me…(read again) Oh my god… (faint again)

* * *

**Book 4...**

**A Letter To Heaven**

* * *

The morning air felt cool and crisp as she stepped outside of the house.

_

* * *

_

_Dear Father,_

* * *

Taking a deep breath, she let herself savor the gentle familiarity of gentle winter around her for a moment.

What peace…

It could have been all a lie – those things that happened months ago. She would have believed it if someone told her so. She would have believed it if she wasn't one of those who had seen it happened and been through it to the very end.

But…

It was not a lie. No one ever told her this was a lie. She had never believed in such a lie. And she had been that one who had seen and been through it all.

If, if, if…

_

* * *

_

_How are you? I hope you are doing all right up there with Mother. You don't need to worry about me or our country. I am doing fine and the situation here is improving quite steadily (albeit a little too slowly)._

* * *

She looked down at her watch and her eyes widened.

5.47 am.

She's going to be late if she's not hurried.

Turning to her right, she half ran toward the garden's direction, fumbling for the small knife in her pocket as she did.

_

* * *

_

_Kisaka is well and is being himself as he always has. Thank you for making him a Colonel and not a Royal Advisor; I wouldn't be able to do anything much, much less coming out here by myself, if you did._

* * *

Her breath coming out in soft puffs, she strode down the quiet road purposefully with a bunch of white delicate flowers in one hand. She had thought of driving, actually, but then she realized that if she did, then they would notice.

_

* * *

_

_So far, the rebuilding of Orb is going smoothly enough. There are now and again disagreements and arguments here and there, but these usually (and eventually) resolve in one way or another. I never knew before, though, that uncles could be so difficult at times and aunts could be such a pain so often. Father, it is not true, is it, that you got me a fiancé without my knowing?_

* * *

"Torii!"

"Wahh!" she cried and almost slipped on the frosted pavement. "Wha--? Tori? Tori, what are you doing out here?"

The mechanical bird fluttered down on her shoulder and chirped innocently. "Tori! Torii!"

She groaned. "I hope Kira won't notice too soon that we are not at the house."

_

* * *

_

_This Christmas, I managed to get everyone to come and celebrate in Orb. I don't know how he did it, but Athrun even got Yzak (the forever-busy-and-it's-not-my-business) to come and stay for as long as three days! I suspect that Dearka (and even Lacus) may have a hand in this. _

* * *

Left…Right…the second corner…Right…the last oak tree...and left…

_

* * *

_

_Oh, I don't care what Charles says. He always piles the work on me whenever there is the slightest chance. Not that I don't do anything, Father, because I do. Honestly. I have been working extra hard since last month so I can spend some time with my friends this Christmas and you know what he said? "But Cagalli-sama, there's no such things as a break or holiday! Please have a look at these reports for next month again…"_

_I swear that I would have strangled him to death if Kisaka didn't decide to come in at that exact minute._

_No, I don't care if he's the best secretary or the best planner in the world (damn him for being both), but I am going to fire him. Kisaka agrees. I know you won't mind too much, Father._

* * *

She was fairly out of breath by the time she reached the gate. It was 6.24 am and dawn was approaching.

"Torii… Torii?"

"Shh," she hushed the bird absently, searching for the key in her coat.

"Torii."

The gate opened with a loud, protesting squeak. Cagalli practically flew in the moment the gate opened wide enough. Tori flew after her, much the same way it usually did with Kira.

_

* * *

_

_The party was great. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and Kira… Father, Kira laughed! It's not so often to see him smile or laugh so genuinely anymore and I was so happy that I forgot myself – I almost put Yzak's precious white coat into the fire. _

_Milly took a lot of photos; I will get copies of them and send you some._

_Lacus sang a few songs for us and they were all very beautiful. _

_Ssigh and Kuzzey are living with their families in Orb and both of them are quite happy with how their lives are going now. _

_Dearka is still making puppy-eye at Milly and Yzak is still his grumpy self but was kind enough to get each of us a present. _

_Athrun…_

* * *

The leaf-less trees nodded sleepily, while the brown-leafed trees shifted and huffed with annoyance as she ran past them. The green mechanical bird followed her and was not too far behind as it chirped now and again, "Torii…Torii…"

* * *

…_Athrun was enjoying himself, too. But I think he's suspecting …something._

* * *

Her vision was blurring for a moment when she stumbled into the clearing. From here, the line between the sky and the sea could be seen clearly.

For a minute she just stood there, trying to calm the harsh breathing and the pounding heart. Then, slowly, she approached the two smooth, rectangular stones which set side by side at the very edge of the clearing.

_Not yet. It is not dawn yet…_

She fell onto her knees before them.

"Mother…Father…" the words as soft as the wind's whisper.

Below, the sea was humming a familiar song of long ago.

_

* * *

_

_Is it possible that he sees through it? Is it possible that he knows? Perhaps it was those couple of times that I tried to avoid him…_

_But I hope he doesn't know._

_I wish he – they – will never know._

_Athrun and Kira, they are the last people I want to know…_

* * *

Placing the flowers before both graves gently, she took out a letter from her pocket.

* * *

…_that, despite what people might think, I am not that strong._

_I want to, though. I really do._

_But after all that happened, I, like everybody else, want some time to cry and to heal. Too bad that I can afford neither. Not now, not before, not soon. If I do… If I stop and I cry, I am afraid that I won't be able to get back up again._

_It was hard not to cry. It was even harder to smile. But it was hardest going home that night, after your funeral, unable to cry even a tear._

_But I have to be strong. I _must_ be strong. Not only for my sake, but for Orb's. And those who live here, my friends… and my brother._

_If I can help easing their pain in any way, if I can protect them from getting hurt, even it means I have to lie… _

_Then I will._

* * *

Someone dear – someone very dear – had told her once that angels lived at 'the End of the World'.

She recalled the memory fondly.

_"But where is 'The End of the World', mommy?"_

_Brushing a golden lock away from her daughter's face gently, she managed a small weak smile. "'The End of the World' is where the sky and the sea meet, honey. Do you remember that place we used to go for picnic together? You, I, and daddy?"_

_She nodded._

_"From there you can send me a letter – the sea will carry your letter to the end of the world. To me..."_

The wind sighed gently as it swept by her.

_

* * *

_

_They are going to hate me, I know. If they ever find out… _

_And that's why I am trying so damned hard now. If I don't do it then who will deal with those troublesome bastards who are itching so badly to start yet another war? Who else will smile and laugh to draw out from the others the very things she fakes? Who, Father, will protect them, if I don't?_

* * *

How long had she been doing this? How many letters had she thrown into the sea, hoping against all hopes that it would somehow reach that place she knew never existed? Why didn't she…why couldn't she just…stop?

"Torii…?" Tori hopped onto her shoulder. It craned its head to one side, gazing sightlessly at her with its perfectly colored eyes.

"Because…"

The white letter fluttered from her hand. She watched as it danced for a moment with the wind before falling…falling and falling until the sea caught and put it away in her white sleeve.

"Because…"

_

* * *

_

_I am sorry I said those awful things to you, Father. I am sorry for all the troubles I caused. I am glad that it was you and Mother who took me in. I am glad that for a while I had been your daughter._

_And I wish I could turn back the time and say these things to you sooner._

* * *

Flapping its mechanical wings, Tori hopped closer to her face and nuzzled against her cheek.

She smiled a small weak smile.

"You know… she told me that if I tried looking hard enough, I would be able to see her if I came here when it was another is born."

"Tori…"

Dry-eyed, she gazed steadily at the shimmering line that divided the sky and the sea.

The sun was rising. It was morning.

"But I have never been able to see her, no matter how hard I try."

_

* * *

_

_Please don't worry about me. I will be fine. It is hard but, like everything else, it will pass. I promise I will take care. I will write again after New Year. Tell Mother I will write to her soon. _

_Your daughter,_

_Cagalli Yula Athha_

* * *

7.09 am. There's still time before the meeting with the other representatives. She might be able to make it back home, return Tori, and have some coffee before going to the office, if she walked fast enough.

Tori, who had been perching quietly on her shoulder ever since they left the clearing, suddenly flapped its wings and flew forward, chirping loudly. "Torii!"

"Wha---? Wait, where are you going? Hey!"

_PS. By the way, I will be made Chief Representative in a couple of months. I hope Kisaka will get someone else to replace this bodyguard that Charles got for me. I think Kris is his name and, god, he IS lousy!_

* * *

"Torii!"

"Tori, wait!" she cried, running after it. _Kira's going to kill me if I lose him!_

_

* * *

_

_Last time I had to find an excuse to tell everyone why my arm hurt. Can you believe it? He actually fell asleep while standing guard outside my office that time. This time, a couple of days ago, I got shot in the shoulder and he actually fainted when he saw blood. _

_I really think that I should fire them. Charles and Kris. Today._

_

* * *

_

Glancing down at her watch, she groaned inwardly. 7.12 am. If she had to play hide and seek with Kira's bird and miss this meeting, she's sure going to get a long, long lecture from Kisaka. Not to mention that he's going to have a litter of kittens if he knew she came out alone and very early in the morning, after what happened the other day.

She suppressed the urge to touch where the bullet wound was. It did not hurt so much now but… she better be on her guard still; she couldn't really let it be like last time when a boy at the orphanage ran into her and, losing her balance, she hit against the wall and---

_I had never seen Athrun so angry than that time then, when he saw the blood_, she frowned wryly. _But it's not as if I am a porcelain doll or anything…_

"Torii!" a loud and all-too-happy chirping.

"Tori, where the hell are you, you little---"

The could-have-been a very long string of curses was cut short when she saw a tall figure at the gate.

_What…_

She tensed up almost instinctively, suddenly all senses became alert. This was what happened when you had an incredibly lousy dude as your bodyguard and a super-strict guardian as your weaponmaster. The moment Tori fluttered down on the outstretched hand, chirping especially cheerfully, however, she relaxed. That bird sang that loud only when…

"There you are. You know you shouldn't have come out like this, don't you? He must be quite worried right now…"

And suddenly she had that dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach. Again.

"Athrun," she called, coming down the slope carefully. "What are you doing here?"

He looked up and, seeing her, walked up to meet her half way.

Tori hopped up to perch on his shoulder.

"I should ask you the same thing," he said, a stern note in his mild voice. "What are you doing so far outside at this time, Cagalli?"

"Doesn't matter," she replied carelessly. "I am going back now anyway."

"Cagalli…"

"Has everybody woken up yet or is it just you? We have a lot to do today, you know."

"Aa. It's just me and Kira…"

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she walked past him toward the gate. "Maybe we can try that new place Milly said she saw in the magazine last time."

"Cagalli…"

"Are you coming or not?" she asked, striding forward and not looking back at him.

Athrun followed. They walked down the road together for a while in silence.

It was just like her, and unlike her at the same time, when she asked him suddenly, roughly. "Why did you come?"

Looking side-way at the rows of the leafless tress, he replied calmly, "I followed you."

Cagalli's brown eyes hardened. "…Kisaka told you."

It was not a question but a simple, flat statement. Athrun continued to 'admire' the scenery.

"You must not blame him," he said in a mild voice. "Actually he was…reluctant to tell me anything. He didn't want to upset you more than you already have, But he did ask me, though, to fill in as your temporary bodyguard until he could find one who's – er – more competent than the last."

As if sensing the mounting tension, Torii decided to leave Athrun's shoulder and flew off into the wood. Neither made an attempt to go after that bird; if it could find Kira that time, floating amongst the bits and pieces of destruction in the space, then it could certainly find its way back home.

"It took a while but, in the end, I made him tell me what really had been going on. When I heard of what happened to you a couple of days ago…" his voice shook a little and she couldn't help but glanced curiously at him. Green eyes never burned brighter or colder then. "…It's all I could do to keep myself from killing him."

A momentary silence then, calmly, flatly, she said, "You met him."

Athrun studiously kept his gaze on everything and everywhere else but her. "I did."

"What did you do?" she asked.

He didn't reply.

"Athrun…"

"Let's just say that he won't be coming back in at least a few months or so."

She was exasperated. "Athrun, you know that what's going on right now is quite none of your business! Just because I got---"

"You could have been killed," he interrupted, the soft mildness belied the steel beneath.

Brown eyes flashed gold; she stopped walking and turned sharply to look at him. "You think I'm that weak? You think I can't protect myself? Give me some credit, Athrun. How, do you think, did I manage to survive this far in the last war? You think I was behind the line, tucked away safe and well-protected? In the desert, in that god-forsaken place, I had always been out there, front-line, fighting along with all of my friends. I can take care of myself as well as I know how to handle a gun. You, of all people, should know by now, and better than anyone, that I'm NOT like some of those princesses who are always in need of saving. Just because I'm a girl," she was positively seething, "doesn't mean in any way that I'm weak!"

Athrun, looking straight ahead, had not once turned to look at her as she talked. When he did, though, she was surprised to see the his expression inscrutably indifferent while his eyes – once so kind and alight with gentle amusement – were like twin emeralds, hard and unreadable.

And suddenly, she was scared.

"No," he said quietly. "No, you're not weak. I know you are a strong person, Cagalli. You have always been one, regardless that you are a girl _and_ a princess. I am very much aware, too, of the fact that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. We've fought in that last battle together, after all."

She regarded him with narrowed eyes, refusing to show any sign of the nervous uneasiness she was feeling inside. It surprised her, his admission, and worried her. She felt a pang of apprehension, dreading the possibility of what this might lead to.

Steeling herself, she said with a firm voice that she learned to employ whenever she had to talk with the other Representatives at the Parliament. "You don't need to worry about me; I'll be able to find a replacement – a more capable one, this time – by today. So, let's not talk about this anymore." She turned and started a brisk pace down the path.

Knowing Athrun, Cagalli expected that he would just let it go, as he always did, and follow her back without mentioning the matter again.

Apparently she didn't know him well enough.

"When are you going to stop lying, Cagalli?"

A jerking stop. Cagalli whipped around to stare at him. "What?"

Calmly, steadily, he gazed at her. "When are you going to stop lying," he repeated. "When will you be honest again?"

Surprise died and, in its stead, rage burnt brightly in her eyes. "What are you trying to say, Athrun?" she gritted out.

Almost casually, he put his hands in the long coat's pockets and regarded her with the mildest of gaze that belied much of the annoyance, frustration, and a tremendous amount of anger at her stubbornness and his own helplessness he was feeling inside. This had gone long enough. He didn't care this might come out ugly and might hurt both of them more than necessary. This…stupid charade must be stopped now – even if it meant Kira and Kisaka having his hind after this.

"You are as bad a liar as Kira, Cagalli. The others may not have noticed it but, do you think that we don't? We know you too well, not to mention the fact that you have always been very honest with your feelings. It shows, you know. We – I and Kira – can see it in your eyes. Every time… every time when you smile and when you laugh, telling us everything's fine, your eyes always tell otherwise."

Cagalli suppressed the urge to shrink away from him and countered his piercing gaze bravely.

"Why are you doing this Cagalli? Why do you keep pushing us away? Why do you have to take everything on your shoulders and suffer alone? Why do you have to be so stubborn? Do you know how much it hurt me and Kira to see you pretending and acting as though you are well and happy when in fact you are not? Do you know how hard it is for us not to say anything whenever you fake that smile and insist that nothing's wrong? Do you know how much do we _hate_ that smile and that empty laugh? Do you know how much we are _sick_ of your lies and pretense? Cagalli, _what _in the world are you trying to accomplish by doing this!"

Cagalli had been holding onto her control with much difficulty but, at his last words, the precious few strands of restraint snapped and all the emotions she kept bottling inside months after months finally came free.

"What am I trying to do? What am I trying to do?" she pulled roughly at his collars, glaring fiercely into his eyes. "What I am trying to do here, Athrun Zala, is to protect you and Kira and everyone. I am trying to protect this country and its people from those brainless bastards who have been snapping at my heels ever since the Treaty's signed. I am trying to protect what is left of my father and of my old self that I have lost in war. If you can see so many things then why can't you see it, too, that I don't want and I can't lose you, Kira, anyone or anything anymore? Can't you tell that if I lose even one insignificant little thing, I won't be able to forgive myself and I will break completely? I will break, Athrun. I will break and I don't know if ever I will be able to get back up again. If I lose you or Kira…" her voice cracked. "Then I will…I will really have nothing left and I will die. But I can't die. I have to live because I have to protect the others who still live here. I will live but on the inside I will be already dead. Have you realized that? That you and Kira are the reasons I'm going through this? All because of you two!"

"Cagalli…"

When these tears came she didn't know but they were flowing freely down her cheeks and, for once, she couldn't care any less about them.

"Why must you and Kira hurt so much? And why it hurts me even more every time I see either of you in pain? Why, why, why! Why the pain can't just stop? Why this--- why t-this---!"

When was the last time she cried? When was it that she stopped crying completely? It felt so long… So long she had forgotten how it felt to be able to cry and speak out her heart.

"I hate you!" she pushed him away and, like a little child, she cried without feeling the least shame at all as she poured her heart out. "You and Kira… I hate you for making me feel this way! I hate you for making me care so much! I hate you for hurting me! I hate you, _I hate you!_"

_And I hate myself even more for hating you._

"Cagalli…"

She struggled futilely, weakly, against him. Athrun could be stubborn, too, when he wanted to be, and, on certain occasions, Cagalli would be brought to realize that her stubborn couldn't quite match his. So, she let him hold her as she cried and cried and cried. The warmth and safety, she had forgotten them ever since that night at the funeral. She hadn't cried a tear and had refused to be comforted by anyone then. She knew that she had to be strong, for everyone.

Cagalli made a few valiant attempts to hold back, but Athrun would have none of it and so, she gave in and let all the unhappiness, fear, and doubt be known to him. He understood, he accepted, and he comforted her.

…_sorry…I am sorry. I am so sorry…_

_I don't hate you…I am sorry I said that…please don't hate me…_

_I forgive you…I'm sorry, too… I am sorry I hurt you…_

_Sorry…_

_It hurts…make it stop, please… please…_

_Forgive me… forgive…_

_I am so sorry…_

_It hurts…it hurts so much…why? Why you? Why me? Why all of us?_

_I won't leave you… I will never leave you…_

_I'm sorry…_

They could never be sure who said those words and they could no longer tell whose tears were being shed. They cried together, they shared their pain and sorrow, and they knew they would never leave each other to be alone again. In time, the pain will fade and the wounds will heal. For now they had one another to hold onto, and the promise that whatever might come later, they would face it together. They wouldn't let go and they would be there to catch when one stumbled and fall. They might not know yet what the future might be, and they would worry about it later, but for now, to be alive and to have each other like this, it's quite enough.

For now.

* * *

I still can't believe I wrote this… (Author dies from the lameness)

Please review!


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